Post by Johanna Deane on Oct 9, 2015 21:15:13 GMT
Now, as night falls on Los Angeles and all my favorite stars come out, it seems to me likely that, because I am entirely unwilling to wear a dress made of bacon, it is possible that her minions will push me off this ledge, whereupon I will fall sixteen stories to the asphalt, crushing my skull and shattering my spine in seventeen places, leading inevitably to the end of my mortal existence and the commencement of the next stage in my process, which probably won’t be pleasant, since I’ve spent a long time pissing off ghosts and other evil spirits, although in my defense the bastards had it coming.
List comma, with and sans Oxford comma
I like people, plants, and animals.
I like people, plants and animals.
On New Year’s Eve, my brother and I ended up partying with two topless go-go dancers, Chris Christie, and Donald Trump.
On New Year’s Eve, my brother and I ended up partying with two topless go-go dancers, Chris Christie and Donald Trump.
Dialogue comma
I said, “Dialogue is pretty freaking simple.”
“You only say that because you’re a writer,” she sneered, “so what do you know?”
I shoved a comma through her face and said, “Never piss off a writer. I will punctuate your life.”
Introducing phrases
Tomorrow, the day after today, when I wake up, first thing, in the morning, around 8 am, before anything else, I will climb onto my roof and engage in a staring contest with the sun.
Modifying phrase
I, Johanna Deane, a notorious cheapskate, went to the store, specifically Goodwill, to buy Egyptian orgy manuals, special manuals produced in Luxor, Egypt to teach you how to have a proper Egyptian orgy.
I hate Canadian comic books, except for Scott Pilgrim.
Commas Used With Conjunctions
Correlative
• Not only … but also
• Either … or
• Neither … nor
• If … then
• Not … but
I did not buy a person, but I did buy a dragon.
Not only did I fly to the moon, but I also played among the stars.
If I eat the moon, then I will also have to eat the stars.
Coordinating
For and nor or but yet so
Sentence1, conjunction sentence2.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour
My pet velociraptor has retired
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, and my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, or my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, so my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, for my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, but my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
My pet beagle is on a comeback tour, yet my pet velociraptor has retired from showbiz.
Subordinating conjunctions
Sentence1(,) CONJUNCTION sentence2.
Conjunction sentence2, sentence1.
Whenever I get off this planet, unless you give me a circle, after all my enemies become rabbits, I will spin this triangle until you are dead, even though we have been friends for 43 million years, and, once your computer runs off through the forest, your lightning scar will cast a curse, causing your glasses to explode, and Voldemort will lose the T sound, at which point I will discover the true meaning of friendship a little too late.
1. A sentence employing a modifying phrase, an introducing phrase, and two coordinating conjunctions.
2. A sentence containing an introducing phrase and dialogue.
3. A sentence containing a modifying phrase, an introducing phrase, and two subordinating conjunctions.
4. A sentence containing a list and a correlative conjunction pair.
5. A sentence containing a list, a modifying phrase, a subordinating conjunction, and a coordinating conjunction.